I went to read my book – I didnae want tae dance
I couldnae see the sense o’ it but gave it half a chance
Although I’m on a Young at Heart I’m coming up for fifty
The sequence dancers make me feel young – it’s relativity.
The auld yins watched intently as the leaders did their demo
They all knew when to clap a bit and jump up for the Mambo
I watched the auld yins watchin’ and tappin’ out the tune
I know there is a pattern and I’ll get it sometime soon.
There wisnae room for zimmers and sticks lay by the door
The Tangos and the Rumbas sent them birlin’ roon the floor
Three fast dances in a row – the barman’s getting ready
The leaders have to earn their keep but dancers must keep steady.
The floor’s the key – it must be good – it cannae be too
The auld yins are a fussy lot – they even like it slippy.
These dancers cannae sit at peace, the tunes just get them moving
Unaware of hazards, their Cha Chas are improving.
A lady is in pain and she hirples to the door
As blood drips from her foot, red smears adorn the floor.
The dancers are disgusted - "the blood will make us stick"
The victim’s husband shows concern – "the mop will do the trick".
So what of "Mrs Victim"? What caused this great distress?
Her husband was the culprit and the cause of all this mess
He kicked her toe and cut it bad yet he was just oblivious
At least the floor is marble and to blood it’s quite impervious
It’s safer to go skiing, where my First Aid skills lay
or play a game of golf, where the men are more abundant.
The perils of the sequence dance will always make me smile
and if I take up dancing it won’t be for a while.
© Carol Gibbons Jan 03